you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
