like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
