all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
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I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
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He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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