oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
