My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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