Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
