Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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