It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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