Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
