So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
