Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
