On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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