Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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