The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
