i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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