highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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