I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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