i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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