Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
