note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
