I feel like I'm in dance class right now
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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