So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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