she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
