people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
