its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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