"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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