I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
