i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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