you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
