Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
