The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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