There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
