Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
