Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
did i walk over a car last night?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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