windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
