somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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