Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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