Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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