Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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