Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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