how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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