why didn't you poke me back
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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