im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
3 2 1 whiskey
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
