i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
