lets start a swedish sibling band together
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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