i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
