I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
