Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
