So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
