when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
