just come out here and I will go home with you...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
