I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
