I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
