How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
