Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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