Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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