so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
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there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
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As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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