Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
